By Kieran Steckley

This isn’t supposed to happen.
The Detroit Lions are the subject of an HBO program.
Better yet, there’s hype around the franchise.
This isn’t the experience of being a Detroit Lions fan.
Growing up a Lions fan outside of Detroit is a Scarlett – nay Honolulu Blue – Letter experience.
In America, football is king. And the Lions are mere pawns.
Therefore, there’s no such thing as a hedging Lions fan.
It’s a life hoping for the unattainable. Believing in the unseen. Longing for the out of reach.
It’s the “bless your heart” of sports fandom.
The NFL and HBO are two of the greatest entertainment television forces mankind ever created.
And they are showcasing the Detroit Lions, a team and city that combine for more punchlines than George Carlin, Richard Pryor and Dave Chappelle could conceive in a 72-hour desert retreat.
Like all reality TV, “Hard Knocks” has fallen victim to social media, smartphones and the general jaddeness that those forces have brought to culture.
But that doesn’t matter.

For once, the Lions are the star of the show.

First, a quick synopsis of my week.
I ran over a nail on my drive home from work Monday. A flat tire to go with my collapsed driver side window. The floors in my kitchen and living room have been torn up because of a leak. Industrial fans, and their never-ending noise, have invaded my house. My four cats and two dogs are either scared or unsure what is happening to their home. We are breathing in mold.
My house, like this blog, is under construction.
Regardless, it’s time for Dan Campbell and company to lift my spirits.

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Trailer plays
“Here we go, babe” said Alexis, my Patriots fan (working on changing that) wife.
02: Dan Campbell gives “Grit” opening speech.
Ever since the “Kneecaps” press conference, Campbell is more caricature than coach in national conversations. Not many meatheads have their voices crack from emotion in speeches. Nor do they demand that others think “deeper” and “a little bit sharper.” Campbell is no snake juice salesman. He knows his team won’t out-talent many on the schedule. But, in his mind, he’s got enough players with character to compete. Message delivered from Day 1.
:05 Campbell Metallica reference.
More metalhead than meathead, apparently.
Intro plays.
Car construction and player collisions. Really leaning into the Motor City/blue collar theme. It plays.
“I can’t wait to see Hockenson on this,” Alexis said. He has better hair than me. Should I be worried?
:06 From Grit speech to full-padded practice clips.
No ramp up in this episode. Is that CBA compliant?
“Training camp is awesome because you get to hit people,” Malcolm Rodriguez, 6th round rookie.
Campbell has a type, huh?
“I like him,” Alexis said about assistant head coach Duce Staley. Who doesn’t?

:07 Campbell rips into the offense for sloppiness in formation and snap count.
I always thought he could be another Mike Tomlin. But he sticks the jaw out and spits like Bill Cowher. Either way, Lions Nation will take it.
:08 Colton Pouncy makes an appearance.
Proud Athletic subscriber. Colton killed Michigan State coverage. He’ll do the same on the Lions beat.
:09 Campbell biography montage.
Is there a more worthy person to be a Bill Parcells disciple?
“Jesus, that’s a lot of dip in his mouth,” Alexis said.
:11 Linebackers coach Kelvin Sheppard says he thought about cutting his dreadlocks when he got into coaching. Said Campbell insisted he not do so.
This is honestly my favorite moment of the episode. People are drawn to Campbell because of his authenticity. That’s great. But he also demands authenticity from others. Those two things don’t always coincide.
:12 Campbell partakes in the traditional up-downs.
A blocking tight end for a decade-plus in the NFL, Campbell retired injured. Those up-downs can’t be kind to his 46-year-old body. His relatability for this author skyrocketed when he revealed he was injured in a pet-gate incident.
:15 Aidan Hutchinson rookie duties.
Only in the NFL could someone sheepishly reveal receiving a $23 million signing bonus. His “Billie Jean” rendition mirrors his football M.O. He gives it his all.

:18 Hutchinson biography.
The hometown angle is an easy sell. HBO not missing its layups.
:20 Plugging the Guardian Cap.
“It’s basically the inside of the helmet on the outside too,” Alexis said.
:21 “If you’re worried about your appearance, we got the wrong o-lineman,” offensive line coach Hank Fraley said.
He is an offensive line coach built in a lab.
“Want one of those “Grit” hats?” Alexis ponders. Yes, I do.

:25 More live tackling.
The assistant coaches are not second-fiddle to Campbell when it comes to intensity.
“You got a ways to go, bruh” defensive coordinator Aaron Glenn to safety DeShon Elliott, a free agent signing and presumed starter.
The Bill Parcells impact is more evident.

:26 Campbell gets emotional with his team regarding the need for demanding practices.

Amidst all the macho man football speak, he cites studies for injury prevention. His voice breaks again. “All I think about is you guys and how I set you up for the best possible advantage. I just need you to trust me.”
Above all else, we are seeing why many swear by Campbell.
“Maybe I should have the same discussion with my staff,” Alexis, medical director at her veterinarian clinic, said.

:27 Jamaal Williams moves himself to tears during post-practice speech.
This was already viral on Twitter. Not-so-bold prediction: It won’t be the only viral moment of the show for Williams.
:29 “Come on Muscle Hamster” as it is Rodriguez’ turn for rookie duties.
Never seen a 5-foot-11, 240-pound muscle hamster salsa like that.
:30 Devin Gardner appearance.
So much Maize and Blue. Need some Green and White.
:31 Montage of the ex-players on staff.
Eighty seasons of NFL playing experience. HBO remains perfect in the paint. Shoutout to NFL films for having clips of all these players. Archive runs deep.

:35 Staley gives a brotherly love speech.
Another emotional layer amid the eruption of machismo.
:38 Staley vs. Glenn trash talking during practice.
The best competition in camp is between each play with these two.
:44 Roary The Lion sighting
“Awww” said Alexis. She’s a sucker for animal mascots.
:45 Campbell with the “Deez Nuts” reference.
Might be the greatest episode ending in television history.

–

Overall, this opening episode of “Hard Knocks” left a lot of meat on the bone – in the best way. We got little to no Jared Goff, Amon-Ra St. Brown, Hockenson, Jameson Williams, D.J. Chark, Jeff Okudah, Aubrey Pleasant, Frank Ragnow, etc. There’s tons of storyline left.
HBO played the hits.

Culture is an overused term in sports. The episode didn’t show Lions culture. It showed the ingredients that make a culture.
This was just the appetizer.